Precious Commodities
by Kodiak Bear Country
Summary: When the Team gate to a world, they find themselves in a unique predicament.[COMPLETE]
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hello, hello! I don't have a lot to say except thank you for everyone who has been reading my fics, and hope you enjoy this one. It's not going to be huge, it's going to be more of a humor piece, and beyond everything, it's something that I hope will break my writer's block with my other stories that I'm trying to get written. This hasn't been beta'd, I know I should've, and I've got a brilliant beta in Gaffer, but I'm desperate to put something out and just want to use this fic to get my going again.

**Precious Commodities**

By M.N. Talbert

"This is your fault," said Sheppard crossly, while shifting his bound hands in his lap, vainly trying to find a position that wasn't so painful.

"Why is it always my fault?" retorted McKay.

"Because it is."

"Oh, right, that's fair," snorted Rodney. "Whenever my ideas work, I get 'good job, McKay' – good job! For saving the entire city, I get 'good job'." If his hands hadn't been tied, they'd have been moving in tune with his irritation, as it was, he settled for slight twitches of his arms. "And when it just so happens that one of my ideas," holding his hands up together and straightening a finger he continued scathingly, "one! Lands us in a less than desirable -"

"Less than desirable?" exploded Sheppard, staring incredulously at their bound ankles and hands, and the straw wagon that rolled painfully along a rutted path.

McKay narrowed his eyes. "Less than desirable," he continued, "suddenly it's my fault."

"Because it is."

"You know what?" seethed McKay. "I'm not talking to you anymore."

"Fine," snapped John.

"Fine."

The groaning of the wagon wheels took over where they left off, and with each bump, McKay felt the accusing unspoken criticism from Sheppard. He sighed, and closed his eyes, thinking maybe if he didn't see Sheppard, he could imagine this wasn't happening. It _was_ his fault, but he sure as hell wasn't going to admit it.

Previously… 

McKay half-heartedly punched the down arrow, skimming another page of Ancient text. Hunting for a potential source of power was beginning to grow tiresome, yet here he was, at some ungodly hour in the morning, doing just that.

He'd never considered himself a team player, nor a sucker for a helpless cause, and in a galaxy full of billions of stars, finding a power source they'd actually be able to use, was proving to be the proverbial needle in the haystack, made even more so by the technologically stunted development from the constant harassment and culling by the Wraith.

Rodney McKay, now a member of a team, and increasingly prone to spending hours beyond his requirement, searching and giving in to the tiresome task that he would've accused anyone else a fool for. The reason - because he'd learned that sometimes you did find the needle. He'd watched Carter pull it off. Then he'd watched Sheppard do the same, and save a lot of lives in the process. What had startled him the most, was when he'd done it not much later, by using a shield and luring the entity out of the city and through the gate.

That's when he'd begun to really consider those tiny little needles that had seemed unreachable. The gene therapy had allowed him to experiment with the shield, and the shield had allowed him to last long enough in the entities ethereal cloud, to toss the power generator through the gate, drawing it after. A random, seemingly unconnected chain of events saved their lives.

And then they'd discovered, like the yin and yang of the universe, that Sheppard had found the locket, given it to Teyla, and in doing so had alerted the Wraith to their presence, setting of the chain of events that had woken the race of soul-suckers that threatened everyone's existence. Again, another random chain of events, but this time it was for the worse.

Grimacing, he hit the down arrow again. Life sucked that way. One minute up, the other down. The best you could hope for was a shorter time down, than up. So far, they'd pulled it off. Even as his mind processed thoughts, his eyes scanned the information, looking for the information they needed, and when it blinked up at him innocently, he dropped his hand from supporting his head from the shock of it.

A broad grin replaced the tired introspective look, and he slammed a fist against the table top, startling a technician cleaning in the corner.

"Sorry," he murmured, embarrassed. "Bug." He made a show of wiping off the spot, before gathering his laptop, and hurrying out of the room. He'd found the needle!

OoO

Sheppard banked the fighter to the left, and began pressing the stick forward, aiming for a downward spiral.

"Spike, what the hell do you think you're doing?" snarled a voice over his radio. "Pull up, now, that's an order!"

Letting out a whoop of delight, Sheppard followed the directions, and brought the sleek aircraft to a straight cruise above the thin clouds. "Just checking out the equipment, Sir," he answered cagily.

"Do it again, and you're ass is on report!"

"- wake up!"

Sheppard puzzled at the navigation display in front of him. "Sir?"

McKay took a deep breath, and balancing the laptop in his hands, nudged Sheppard harder with his knee. "You're a damn officer in the military, you're supposed to be a light sleeper, wake up!"

Sheppard felt the airplane flutter away, and blinked, surprised to see McKay leaning over him. "What -"

"I found something."

"You found something," repeated Sheppard. He was still shaking off the dream, and trying to figure out why McKay was in his room, and what time it was. As his eyes drifted to the clock, a frown snaked across his face. "It's two in the morning, couldn't this have waited?"

"I'm sure the Wraith will look at their watches, and say 'oh look at the time, we can't attack now, they're all still asleep'."

Teeth gritted, Sheppard sat up, thrusting the blanket to the side, and searching for his pants. "This had better be good."

McKay beamed smugly, "Zed PM good, Major."

Sheppard paused in pulling up his pants, and caught McKay's gaze. "You sure?"

"Positive."

"Then what are we waiting for?" asked Sheppard, standing up and fastening the last snap. "Let's go."

A bemused look fell across McKay. _Wasn't that his point_, he thought? Watching Sheppard's back as he moved to the door, he tilted his head and asked, "Wasn't that my point?" He followed the major and said, "I'm pretty sure that was my point."

"Rodney?"

"What?"

"Shut up."

McKay wondered if this was the time to tell Sheppard he'd forgotten his boots…

oOo

Sheppard stepped out of the event horizon, immediately holding his weapon tighter while he surveyed the surroundings. He heard the slurp of his team members arrive behind, and shielding his eyes from the glare of the sunlight, scanned the dusty road for any of the native inhabitants.

Teyla hadn't traded directly with these people, but she knew of them. A world hit unusually hard by the Wraith, their men taken disproportionately due to their attempts at protecting the women and children. The results were disaster. Without the men, the world had foundered, and eventually the population had fallen into negative growth. Rumors were that the young women were married to off-worlder's whenever possible. Sometimes they stayed, sometimes they left.

The direct result, the Wraith hadn't culled this world in Teyla's lifetime. When he'd heard that, he'd asked her why she had never mentioned it before, and she'd promptly informed him that it would be impossible to foresee every scrap of information she knew that might prove helpful.

He'd realized she was angry with him, and justifiably so, but this would've been an ideal alpha site, and if McKay's theory was right, there was an outpost somewhere on this forsaken rock.

"Ford, you and Teyla take the rear, I'll stay up front with McKay." Sheppard looked at the scientist, and saw he already had the PSD, power source detector, in his hand, and was scanning it to their left. "If there's any trouble, get to the gate."

They hadn't gone far when trouble arrived. The first whistle that blew past his ear startled him, but he thought it was a bug or a bird. The second whistle impacted his thigh, and as he looked dumbly at the dart embedded in his leg, he realized things weren't getting of to a good start.

McKay had been walking to his right, and paused when he did, looking away from his machine. "What?" he snapped, wondering why Sheppard had stopped.

"I've been shot -" he managed to get out, before crumpling to the ground.

Without hesitating, McKay shouted, "Ford, Teyla, get back to the gate! The Major's been hit with a dart -" he felt a sharp sting, and looked at his arm with stupid fascination. "Ow," he managed, before his eyes rolled up, and he fell beside Sheppard.

Ford hesitated, torn between wanting to help and getting reinforcements. He took a step towards Sheppard and McKay, when another dart found its mark. He looked at Teyla, his face registering surprise, before falling to the ground.

Teyla knew the odds of them getting out of this were slim, but she didn't hesitate another moment, turning and running to the gate as fast as possible. She never saw the dart come out of nowhere, and hit home in her calf, but she did feel the stinging impact, and fell forward, her body still in motion, and resting to the side of the DHD.

oOo

John had gotten drunk more than few times in his life, and had more than a few hangovers, but whatever was in that dart, rivaled the worst of them. His stomach was roiling, his head felt like a jackhammer had been running beside him for hours, and cottonmouth took on new meaning.

"Shit," he moaned, trying to get himself upright.

Why was it every trip out they landed in it? Taken captive, shot at, but tranq'ed was a new one. The pounding in his head grew as he managed to finally sit.

A groan to his side, and he realized McKay was waking up. He appreciated just how messed up he was, because before that, he hadn't had the mental awareness to remember his team. Now, he looked around the dim cell, and with dismay, saw that they were the only occupants. Where were Ford and Teyla?

"I'm gonna be sick," muttered McKay, before he crawled to a corner, and retched painfully.

Sheppard winced, and tried to keep his own stomach from joining the fray. The smell was strong. He lay his sweating face against the wall, and breathed in his mouth, forcing the nausea down.

"Let it out," said McKay, crawling back to his side. "It helps."

Rolling his head to look at Rodney, he noticed that even though his face was pale, he did look better. Closing his eyes, he fought against doing that.

"No," gritted Sheppard. He wasn't going to add to the mess in their cell if he could help it. He didn't like losing control, and that included his stomach.

McKay found a position that helped his own aching head, and mumbled, "Suit yourself."

For how long they sat like that, both men miserable from the after effects of the drug they'd been darted with, Sheppard wasn't sure. It was McKay who finally spoke, breaking the depressing quiet. "Where's Ford and Teyla?"

The thousand-dollar question. Where were the other two members of his team? "I don't know. I woke up right before you." Sheppard had managed to gain some control over his stomach. He shifted carefully, moving his stiff legs on the floor covered meagerly in straw. "You were the only one here."

"Do you think they made it back?"

"I don't know."

"False hope, Major, does a body good."

Sheppard rolled his eyes, and immediately regretted it. He didn't know eyes could hurt like that. "False hope, McKay – think about it."

It wasn't called 'false hope' for nothing. If they'd made it back, they still had to find wherever here was. So far they hadn't heard or seen another person. What if they weren't even on the same planet anymore?

McKay didn't say anything else, and Sheppard felt slightly guilty for dampening what little hope the scientist had. How many hours they sat there, he didn't know, probably wasn't as long as it felt.

A door opened, and revealed a hallway running parallel to their cell. A tall woman walked in, followed by two other less ornately dressed. She stepped to the wrought-iron door, and peered haughtily at them. "These are the specimens worth such a high price?" She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the smell of McKay's earlier sickness.

"We're not for sale!" protested Sheppard.

"How high of a price are we talking?" asked McKay.

The woman ignored both, and snapped her finger at the lock. "Regardless, clean them. A wagon waits to deliver these men to my home, and I do not wish to be kept waiting." She didn't wait for the other women to respond, but strode towards the door she'd entered.

Sheppard, forgetting his touchy stomach, jumped up and grabbed the bars. "I said we're not for sale!" he shouted angrily, knowing even as he did so, that it was pointless.

"I had better cost more than you," said McKay. "I'm a physicist. A physicist is worth at least two Major's."

The sound of Sheppard finally losing the battle with the nausea drew his attention away from the retreating woman, and as he watched sympathetically while Sheppard heaved, he couldn't help but add, "Perfect example, I threw up in the beginning instead of suffering all day, whereas you stubbornly held out, and feel absolutely miserable now -"

oOo

Present time… 

The wagon had bumbled along, and Sheppard's mood didn't improve. It irritated him that McKay had been right about throwing up, it annoyed him that he'd been right about the price (McKay had sold for double the amount of Sheppard), and if that weren't enough, the damn straw was itching all over.

They'd been stripped off their uniforms, and dressed in some kind of fancy schmancy outfit that left little to the imagination of what they had been bought for. Teyla's words about the lack of males rang in his ears, and he wondered again why he always found himself following McKay to these worlds, only to wind up knee deep in trouble.

"How long is the silent treatment going to last?" asked McKay. "Very childish, by the way."

Of all the –

"You know, McKay, if you're trying to get me to forgive you, insulting me isn't exactly the way to go."

"Forgive me?" McKay's eyes were snapping at Sheppard. "This isn't my fault!"

Sheppard turned to face Rodney. "You can't do it," he accused.

"Can't do what?"

"Admit you're wrong."

Now here Sheppard had got McKay by the gonads, because he'd used 'can't' in relation to McKay's ability, irregardless that it was about admitting he was wrong when he wasn't going to admit he was wrong…ever, but by using 'can't' it was tantamount to waving a red flag in front of a bull.

"I can when I'm wrong," he snapped defensively. "But I'm not."

"You said the people here were harmless," recounted Sheppard, adjusting his tone to mimic McKay. "They're just a bunch of women, you said." Sheppard raised his hands, and glared at Rodney. "Look, McKay! Look at how _harmless_ they were!"

Rodney muttered something and looked away.

Sheppard wasn't interested in letting it drop. "What?"

"I said this would never happen to Captain Picard."

Sheppard stared open-mouthed at McKay. "Are we even on the same planet?" he finally said.

"I always call you Captain Kirk," explained McKay irritably. "This," he waved the bound hands in front of Sheppard, "is something that'd happen to Captain Kirk. This stuff _never_ happened to Captain Picard."

The muscles of his jaw tensed, and he held McKay in a steely glare. "That's because Captain Picard had a big ass Klingon to knock the shit out of anyone stupid enough to try and kidnap him!"

"You had Ford and Teyla," replied Rodney calmly. "I thought you said you never watched Star Trek?"

"I said my heroes were the John Wayne type," said Sheppard. "Christ, McKay, _everyone_ has seen Star Trek."

They're arguing had distracted them from realizing they'd arrived at their destination. "Out!" ordered a short woman. She looked older than Moses, and probably ten times as mean.

They got out. Awkward, and in the end Sheppard rolled, and fell on his shoulder, before having McKay use him as a soft landing, but they got to their feet not a whole lot worse for the events of the past twenty-four hours.

"You're mistress is waiting," cackled the old woman gleefully, eyeing them appreciatively.

Sheppard fought against the crawling revulsion skating through his body. All they were was meat for the feast. He'd chased a lot of women in his time, but this wasn't a predicament he ever thought he'd be in. Despite the small amount of flattery, most of him wanted to get as far away from this place as possible.

"Uh, I changed my mind," said McKay, pushing Sheppard forward with his body. "He's worth four of me."

Sheppard cast a dirty look over his shoulder, but took the lead. The building wasn't what he was expecting. From her dress, he'd imagined some kind of castle, or mansion, but what they got was a wooden one-story house. Pretty damn plain, and it reminded him of the long houses that the Native Americans had built in cooler climates.

The door opened into a broad great room, with a fireplace against the far wall that took up the majority of the space. Now that he thought about it, he was a little chilled. 'Moses' led them into the center, their progress painfully slow because of the rope still keeping their feet tied. Shuffling wasn't easy.

The haughty woman entered, from a door at the other end of the house, and eyed them critically. She quickly closed the distance, and leaned in, sniffing the air before running smooth hands over Sheppard's chest, and moving on to McKay. Satisfied, she stepped back. "You've cleaned up adequately," she observed. "Was you're trip pleasant?"

Sheppard didn't even try to stifle his disgust. "We've spent the entire trip tied up, and being knocked around."

"It was wonderful," smiled McKay, stepping towards the woman, and drawing her hand into his own, an awkward move with his hands still tied together. He lifted it to his lips, and kissed her hand lightly. "But not as pleasant as seeing you again."

The woman returned his smile, pulling her hand back slowly, and eyeing him with interest. "Good, I'm glad to hear that." She continued to stare at McKay for a moment, before pulling her gaze back to include Sheppard. "My name is Mistress Karna. You may call me Karna. Follow the rules, and you will be treated well."

She left unspoken what would happen if you didn't follow the rules, but Sheppard figured he could connect the dots.

"Uh," Sheppard shoved McKay back. "There's been a mistake here. We aren't for sale."

Karna turned her full attention on Sheppard. "There's been no mistake, Major Sheppard."

"You know who we are?"

She smiled gamely. "Of course. We do not purchase stock without certain – assurances."

"Look, you've got me at a disadvantage here," started John.

"I assure you, I've got you at more than a disadvantage." Gone was the haughty, offish demeanor, and in place was a lady shark, waiting to devour him.

He felt the red hot blush that crept to the roots of his hair. A cough to his side, and McKay insinuated himself between the two. "Excuse me," he inserted, "Would it be possible, my dear lady, to remove these," he held his hands aloft, "ropes?"

Karna waved at the other woman, and as she moved towards Rodney, she addressed them sternly, "Certainly, but make no mistake, escape is not possible. To try will have grave repercussions."

"Graver than being sex slaves?" Bewildered, Sheppard couldn't help but ask.

Before McKay could reply, Karna's words wiped the amused smirks from their faces. "If you consider death graver, then yes."

Without explaining, she left the room, leaving them to the older woman's care.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Laura-Trekkie, you betcha, Rodney being nice for the sake of being nice? His purpose was self-serving, and he can't resist a chance to needle John.

Thank you for the reviews! This is helping my writer's block, but the bestest cure for it is going to arrive tomorrow, and as Derry's wonderful video says it all, "I can't wait!"

**Part Two**

Sheppard and McKay found themselves shown to adjoining rooms. Moses grinned lustfully while showing both men the facilities, and John couldn't help grinning at McKay's obvious discomfort when she lingered beside the scientist while demonstrating the use of the bathing tub.

"Karna will be in later to -" She licked her lips, which was particularly disturbing to Sheppard, because the seductive licking gesture over age-wrinkled lips curled his toes. "See you've settled in."

After she left, Sheppard peered into McKay's quarters and found them an exact replica of his own; a luxuriously made up bed, toilet and bathing facilities in the corner behind a screen, and not much else.

Rubbing a hand against the frown lines creased into his forehead, Sheppard walked past McKay, and dropped on to the bed. "This sucks."

"I can think of worse," said Rodney stalwartly.

"I noticed," said Sheppard. " '_Not as pleasant as seeing you again'_, what the hell was that all about?"

"Have you ever heard of the expression 'you can catch more flies with honey'?"

"I don't want to catch flies, Rodney." Sheppard shuddered. "In fact, I'm pretty certain _we're_ the flies, and Karna is some kind of Venus Fly Trap, and you know what that makes us."

McKay sat dejectedly next to Sheppard. He'd known pouring on the charm would irritate Sheppard, but he hadn't thought it through past the momentary pleasure of annoying the major, and getting those ropes off. But now, shoulder's slumped, he answered Sheppard's rhetorical question with a nervous swallow. "Dinner."

"And dessert," confirmed John.

"You go first."

"What?" Sheppard stared, horrified at the suggestion. "Why me?"

"Because I'm the brains, and you're the -"

"-brawn," supplied John, finishing a conversation they'd had before, in different circumstances. "That doesn't automatically qualify me as the better option here, Rodney."

"What, you aren't any good in bed?"

Spluttering, "I'm good in bed-" he retorted.

"Splendid!" crowed McKay, "Now that it's settled, we've got to figure out our escape -"

"I'm not sleeping with her."

"Don't be so stubborn," said McKay churlishly. He waggled his fingers at Sheppard. "Captain Kirk, remember?"

"Boys, boys – there's no need to argue. I assure you there will be plenty of girls to go around."

The sultry voice of Karna interrupted their conversation and startled both men, because they hadn't heard a single creak of a floorboard to let them know of her presence. Sheppard's mouth thinned into a straight line. How much she'd overhead was top on his list of things to find out. Casting an angry look at McKay, he imagined she'd heard the escape comment. Fanfuckingtastic –

"You have to excuse my friend," smiled McKay, standing smoothly. "He's a bit worn out from our trip."

Sheppard fought against an overwhelming urge to punch Rodney. Instead, plastering a sickly sweet smile, he went with McKay's train of thought. "In fact," he interjected, stretching out on the bed, "I'm so beat, I think I'm just going to get some sleep -"

Rodney's grin flickered for an instant, before he recovered. "I'm sure a nap - a _short_ nap, will do wonders."

"No," replied Sheppard, closing his eyes purposefully. "I think I'm going to need at least twelve hours to fully recover. Good thing you've got the better stamina, McKay."

If his eyes had been open, he would've seen McKay's resolve slip, and pained consternation cross his face.

"As you said, Doctor McKay, a short nap," Karna said emphatically, leaving no doubt who was running the show. "Do either of you require an explanation of my expectations?" An edge of the old haughtiness returned, "Or did the price I pay for looks and intelligence actually deliver this time?"

The picture was growing clearer, and McKay almost feared to have his suspicions confirmed. "Ah," he started reluctantly. "How many women are we talking?"

A seductive smile eclipsed Karna's face. "As many as you two virile boys can handle."

As she left, McKay fell back on the bed, and let his eyes close. "Oh boy," he groaned. "I know that this ranks up there with the top ten sexual fantasies of the year, but when you're actually confronted -"

"You've fantasized about being a sex slave?"

McKay scowled. "You haven't?" he asked. "Please, Major. What guy hasn't?"

Sheppard folded his arms up behind his head, creating a pillow with the palms of his hands and grinned, refusing to answer.

OOo

"They've been what?" Weir exclaimed, staring at Bates.

"Sold, Ma'am," repeated Sergeant Bates, and was that a glimmer of amusement Elizabeth caught underneath the respectful tone?

"Have you located where they're being kept?"

She was fighting to maintain her composure. Was there a curse on Sheppard's team? Seemed like every trip they took through the gate landed them in something complicated, but being sold wasn't something she'd prepared for.

Bates was shaking his head negatively. "No, Ma'am, not yet. I've sent Lafferty and Miles in for some reconnaissance."

Lafferty and Miles were Kristine and Rebecca, respectively, two female airmen under Bates, and part of the team that had gated to the planet to find out why Sheppard's team had failed to report in as scheduled.

"I see," she pushed back from her desk. She'd been leaning across, her hands splayed over the surface. "Teyla?"

He didn't reply, just shook his head.

Knowing there wasn't anything more they could do, she sighed. "Keep me informed," she ordered. Bates nodded, and retreated from her office. She sat back in her chair, and stared at the screen on her computer. She'd been working on duty rosters, but now she lacked the concentration to mess with it. _Damn it_, she swore –

oOo

"What are we going to do?" snapped a pacing McKay.

"Wait for a rescue."

Rodney stopped pacing, and stared at him. "This is payback, right? You're getting me back for playing nice with you're alien bimbo."

For the love of –

"She's not my 'alien bimbo', and if you've got a better idea, I'm all ears."

"Did they drug the water? This isn't like you, Sheppard. Get up, plan a daring escape, get us out of here, before we're descended on by a pack of she-vultures out for my man flesh!"

Desperation colored Rodney's face, and John wished fervently for a camera. He got up, and walked to the edge of the room that he figured was the outside wall. "Death or sex, you pick," he said, poking at the wooden slats.

"You don't know its death," argued McKay.

Sheppard repeated drolly, " '_If you consider death graver'_ –"

Karna's words made Rodney huff. "She was exaggerating."

A finger drawn along his neck was Sheppard's reply.

"That's it," snapped McKay, shoving past Sheppard. He started fingering the wall, looking for any weakness. "I'm not going to become a two-bit part in The Best Little Whorehouse in the Pegasus Galaxy. If you won't help, get out of the way."

Sheppard extended his hands, "By all means, Rodney." He stepped a few feet to McKay's left. "When you're done with that, I'll be outside waiting –"

Rodney's groping fingers stilled on the wall, and he looked over, noticing Sheppard holding a board away from the wall, the slice of daylight beckoning them towards freedom.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Purposefully lead me on-"

Sheppard grabbed McKay's shirt, and thrust him through the opening. "Because it's one of the few things that gives me pleasure," he answered, following him through.

oOo

Ford darted through the alley, casting furtive looks to make sure he wasn't being watched. When he'd woken from the effects of the dart, he'd been trussed up, and tossed onto a cart heading where he didn't know. He tried to keep mental track of the cart's progress, and from what he could tell, they'd come about ten klicks from the gate, give or take a few. He had still been recovering from the tranquilizer and hoped his estimate was fairly accurate.

Alarmed by the absence of the major, McKay and Teyla, he'd peppered the women that were riding up front. Gauging from the weapons and clothing, he figured they were the guards. His questions had met with stony silence, and finally after they'd obviously grown tired of his pestering, he'd been told if he wouldn't work in the fields, he'd be sold to the breeding brothels. The other male prisoners had paled at the threat, which led Ford to believe that wasn't a good place to wind up in.

He'd tried threats, explaining that their people would be looking for him. He'd tried bribery. He'd even tried pretending that the dart had made him sicker than it had. Nothing had worked. Finally, he figured if he behaved complacent, they'd begin to loosen the watch over him, and he'd been right.

After spending the day working, he and the other men had been herded into a large building filled with sleeping bunks. Soon, he became lost in the bustle of mealtime and games as everyone settled into their regular routines. Being the new guy, only a cursory interest was shown, before he was forgotten.

Using the distractions to his advantage, he slipped out through a side door, wondering at the ease of his escape. He'd expected to be caught at any moment, but as the distance from the fields increased, he began to relax somewhat. He hadn't been sure his sense of direction was aiming him true, but after traveling most of the night, he found himself in a town that he recalled Teyla saying was near the gate.

Teyla, the major, and McKay were out there somewhere, and all he knew was that none of them had been in the fields with him. His gear had been taken, and all he could hope to do was get to the gate, and wait for a rescue party to come through.

oOo

Teyla woke to gentle strokes of a damp cloth over her face. Reaching up with her hand, she grasped the thin wrist, and opened her eyes. It was a young girl, not quite beginning to turn into a woman, and she stared at Teyla with open curiosity.

Pulling her arm from Teyla's grasp, "Where did you come from?" she asked.

"Where am I?" asked Teyla instead of answering. She felt as if she'd been ill - tired, weak.

The girl looked anxiously over her shoulder, before leaning in and whispering, "In the waiting house. Usually, old women only stay to supervise, but Marsa said you came through with strangers and were going to become one of us."

Sitting up suddenly, Teyla asked, "The strangers, where are they?"

The girl pulled back and didn't answer. She gently straightened a blanket, appearing more mature than her body would show her to be.

A sharp pain in her abdomen made Teyla wince. She _was_ ill. From what, though? And how long had she been here? "What is wrong with me?" she asked the now silent girl, as another painful cramp wound through.

It must have been a safer topic, because the girl visibly relaxed. "The keeper reacted badly in your body. It made you sick. Marsa gave you some medicine and said you'll be better soon."

"Keeper?"

Another taboo subject, because the girl stood, and gesturing to a pitcher of water said, "If you need more, call. Sleep more. The others who have reacted badly to the keeper found it helped."

Before Teyla could try more questions, the girl had left. She contemplated getting up, but as another pain snaked into her stomach. She closed her eyes, and wished to feel better sooner rather than later. She'd rest, but when she was better she'd plan an escape, she had no intention of staying.

oOo

Ford gasped as an angry hurt grabbed his guts, and held him. Unwillingly, he dropped to his knees in the dusty alley, biting back the moan of discomfort. It had started a short while ago, small at first, and building.

He knew he'd managed to find the edge of town, and all he had to do now was get to the gate. It wasn't that far, but now, as he knelt, hunched over with rolling waves of pain, it might as well have been the Sahara separating him from his destination. He knew he wasn't going to make it.

"Lieutenant!"

Ford released his body to fall on his back, and staring up in the darkening sky, was surprised to see Sergeant Lafferty. He swallowed. "You shouldn't be here."

A wide grin split her young face. "Neither should you." Growing serious, she knelt beside him. "You're sick?"

"Just started," he gritted. " 'bout an hour ago."

"Where's the rest of your team? We've been looking for you after you missed your scheduled report."

Shaking his head, he answered tightly, "I don't know." He panted through another wave of pain. "We got separated after we were darted."

Lafferty reached for his arm, pulling Ford to his feet. The Lieutenant struggled upward, and even though he was bent at his waist, he was up. She dusted off his pants. "Let's get you back. We'll find the others," she vowed. "You need to see Beckett."

oOo

"Major," gasped McKay. "Stop -" sucking in air, he wasn't able to finish his sentence.

Sheppard was in front. Hearing McKay's plea, he stilled his feet, and looked over his shoulder. Rodney was leaning over, hands on knees, and breathing hard. "We need to go," he stressed.

"I know," panted McKay. "Just – give me a – minute."

"If I give you a minute, you might get more than either of us can handle," warned Sheppard.

He hadn't spotted anyone following, but he knew it was only a matter of time. Karna didn't strike him as the type to let her money waltz out the door with a 'so long, good luck'. If they wanted to get back to Atlantis, they'd need to go as fast as possible. And he still had no idea where Ford or Teyla was.

"Don't you -" McKay continued to struggle "- feel tired?"

"Yes, McKay, but the fear of being _more_ tired, if you know what I mean, is providing a good dose of adrenaline." Sheppard frowned at how pale the scientist looked. It wasn't like McKay to lag behind and get this breathless. Maybe in the beginning, but after a few months of missions, Rodney had come along nicely. "Maybe it's just your subconscious wanting to get caught."

"Very funny," said McKay flatly. He took a deep breath, and straightened, but only made it half way before a sharp pain stopped him. "Ow!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Sheppard didn't know whether to be annoyed or worried. "Cramp?" Maybe he'd been pushing them harder than he thought.

McKay's face relaxed as it passed. He straightened up, and inhaled deeply. "I'm not cut out for this," he muttered. "I'm probably doing permanent damage to my insides."

"The only damage being done is in your head, now if you're recovered -" drawled Sheppard, "we should get going before you need to start worrying about you're outsides."

They'd barely begun moving again, when an overwhelming wave of pain wrapped around Sheppard's middle. He dropped to a knee, and wrapped his right arm protectively against his stomach, trying unsuccessfully to ease the pain. He closed his eyes tight.

"Major?"

"Not now," bit out Sheppard. The cramp tightened viciously one final time, before he felt his guts relax. Feeling worn out from it, he straightened up.

"I know a snide comment is deserved," said McKay, staring at Sheppard. "But being the bigger person, are you okay?"

"I should be insulted, but oddly, I'm touched." Sheppard half grinned, half grimaced. "You had a really strong cramp in your stomach?" He was asking about McKay's episode moments before his.

"Gut wrenching," elaborated McKay.

Nodding, Sheppard eyed the horizon stretching out before them. He knew they weren't even close to the gate or the town. "Either we've got some stomach bug, or -"

"We've been poisoned."

The ramifications echoed through both their minds. _If you consider death graver_ –

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

AN: First, let me apologize for being so late with this update. It's been a hectic summer. Kids in swimming lessons, we bought a house (being built), getting ready for the upcoming school year...it just never seems to stop!

Redick, yes, it was intentional, good catch!

Thank you, muchly, for leaving reviews. They really make my day!

**Part Three**

Beckett had been relieved when the news came through that Lieutenant Ford had been found - though it was tinged with worry because the other three members remained missing - but then Ford had been delivered to the infirmary. The man was ill, quite ill, and Beckett's fears had been confirmed after a round of tests. He was suffering from some kind of poison.

Ford had been able to explain how they'd arrived on the planet, and before getting far, had been shot with some kind of tranquilizer dart. The major and Rodney had been shot first, and then he and Teyla had been as well, when they tried to make the gate. Apparently, they'd been separated while unconscious, as Ford had woken alone.

What puzzled Beckett were the symptoms. After waking from the dart, Ford had said he'd felt fine after an initial bout of sickness, which isn't uncommon with sedation. It was only after he'd made his escape and gotten closer to the gate that he'd begun to suffer the additional effects. Delayed symptoms weren't unheard of, but he couldn't see how that would be profitable – poisoning slaves and having them grow too ill to work, and Ford had relayed that none of the older slaves were ill.

A soft knock drew his eyes to the door into his office. A nurse wanted his attention, and judging from the tight-lipped expression, he couldn't see how it was good news.

"The Lieutenant?"

She nodded. "The pain is growing worse. He's asking for more morphine."

Beckett looked at the watch on his wrist. It was too soon. They needed to figure something out, and fast. He wasn't sure what the end result of the poison was. It was too unknown, and they had barely begun to examine it. What he did know, was that the pain was spreading in Ford's body, and at the rate it was increasing, he doubted Ford could withstand much more of this before his body started shutting down.

"Ask the Lieutenant if he has any favorite songs," Beckett ordered. Sometimes, little things could help when all else failed, and music had a soothing effect. One of the items brought to Atlantis was a large database of music. It _might_ take an edge off Ford's pain, give him time - time was always what they needed, and time was always what there wasn't enough of –

oOo

McKay was lying on the ground beside Sheppard. He could feel the heat radiating into him from the major's body. "You're a black body radiator," he joked clumsily, not sure if he was talking out loud, or thinking it to himself. The pain that wrapped around his body like a wet blanket made it hard to be certain of anything.

When Sheppard failed to respond, he figured either Sheppard was unconscious, or he hadn't spoken aloud after all. Poison. He was pretty sure that was the case. They'd struggled on for maybe another mile before the pain had grown stronger than their ability to stay upright.

Collapsing, they'd panted through wave after wave of agony. It never ended. One rolling climax turned into another, and another, and soon McKay wasn't aware of time, or breathing, or anything, except the body of his friend shuddering in time to his own, and burning like a super heated fire, which would eventually expire in a tremendous burst of energy.

They were going to die. And that was the last cognizant thought that Rodney McKay had.

oOo

When Teyla awoke for the second time, she felt stronger, and the pain had gone. Tentatively, she pushed upright, and was relieved when nothing happened. Not so much as a twinge.

Looking around, she realized by the dim lighting, night had fallen on this planet. If it were night, than it was likely many would be seeking a bed, and less people would be around. Teyla didn't see her uniform, but she did see a white dress lying on a chair to the side of her bed. It'd have to do. Sliding from the bed, she slipped into it. The dress hung like a sack, and she wondered if she was wearing it wrong.

Shrugging, she looked for something for her feet, but there wasn't anything in the room. She crept cautiously towards the door, cringing as one of the floorboards squeaked underneath her weight. During the day, it'd never be heard, but now when the building was deadly quiet, it sounded as loud as the gunfire from the weapons they carried.

She grabbed the handle, and very slowly, pulled the door back, revealing a thin slice of the hall. From what she could see, it looked clear, so holding her breath, Teyla pulled the door open enough to slip through.

She walked stealthily down the hall, and found it opened into a large room. There were many chairs, and a large fireplace. Baskets with material sat beside most of the chairs, and Teyla guessed this was a type of common room where the girls worked during the day. Her eyes flashed to a door that looked like an exit from the building.

"You are trying to leave," the voice accused behind her.

Teyla started in surprise, and spun to face the girl. It was the one who had helped her earlier. Teyla contemplated denial, but the girl wasn't stupid, it was written across her face that she knew exactly what Teyla was up to, and saying otherwise didn't seem like the thing to do.

"My friends need me," she said instead simply.

The girl shortened the length between them, but she didn't call out. She was wearing a similar white dress, and now Teyla wondered if it wasn't a nightgown of some kind. Her hair fell around her face in curtains of brown, and she looked very young, and vulnerable.

"It's against the rules to leave," she stated like a programmed automaton.

Teyla smiled reassuringly. "I will take responsibility if I am caught.

"Why wouldn't you wish to stay?"

"I told you -" began Teyla, but the girl had stepped closer, and was watching her intently.

"We're told it's a honor to be separated into the breeding caste." The girl began talking, low, but her voice wobbled. "We get to bear children, as many as we like." She had taken her eyes off Teyla while she talked, but now lifted them again, to stare at the Athosian. "I should be happy. You should be happy."

"But you are not."

The small pale face spoke for her.

"Come with me." Impulsively, Teyla took her arm. "Help me, and I will help you."

"Your friends -"

"Major Sheppard, Doctor McKay and Lieutenant Ford," whispered Teyla. "Have you any knowledge of them?"

The girls face flashed with recognition. "Sheppard and McKay – they were taken to Mistress Karna's. Her other males had to be sent to the fields for rest. But this Ford – I'm sorry, I do not know of him. Karna visited after you slept, and told Marsa that they had arrived, and were," here the girls face flushed, "reluctant."

"Mistress Karna?" Teyla's eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"Be thankful, there are others less considerate than Mistress Karna. She cares for her men, more than the other Mistresses." The girl appeared defensive.

"I am sure you are right," soothed Teyla. "Then you know where they are being kept?"

"Yes, but -" she fidgeted in distress, "they will not be able to leave. They've been treated, as you were, with the Keeper."

"You mentioned this Keeper before, that is what made me ill."

"Every off-worlder is treated with the Keeper. It's what prevents their escape."

"But you said Marsa gave me medicine," asked Teyla. "Was that the cure?"

A stiff nod. "But I do not know where Marsa keeps the medicine."

"How does this – Keeper – work?"

The girl hesitated, and glanced over her shoulder. Noticing, Teyla held a hand up for the girl to wait, and she backed towards the exit, pulling it open carefully. Seeing it was clear outside, she waved the girl through. Together, they headed into the darkness; so complete that Teyla knew they were safe for the time being.

Once they'd gone far enough away that their voices wouldn't carry, Teyla stopped. Her eyes had adjusted to the faded light the waning moon provided. "We can speak freely here."

The girl still took the time to scan the area, but was satisfied. "It's tuned to a device in the residence. When a person moves away from it, the illness begins, and the farther from the device, the sicker the person becomes."

Alarmed, Teyla asked, "Will they die?"

"I have never seen anyone brave enough to find out," answered the girl truthfully.

Teyla found herself wishing for a rescue team, but staring into the darkness, Teyla knew she was all her two team members had. "What is your name?" she asked the girl.

"Livy."

Teyla placed a reassuring hand on Livy's thin shoulder and said, "Then Livy, I will need your help. I need you to take me to this Marsa so that I can gather the medicine for my friends."

Livy flinched, but nodded resolutely. "You will take me with you when you leave?"

"I will," promised Teyla.

The girl didn't ask again, but set off on a path only her feet knew. Teyla followed, hoping the major hadn't already attempted escape, only to find an unpleasant end.

oOo

McKay wondered if he'd died, and gone to heaven, because when he woke up, two women dressed in toga made of a diaphanous material were bathing his body. The soft sponges almost lulled him back asleep, combined with the heady scent of the perfumed water, but one thought worried him enough to stay conscious. Sheppard.

Turning his head to the side, he failed to see the major. McKay was in the room at Karna's – Karna! Alarmed, he sat up abruptly, and reddened as he realized the only thing between him, the women, and his proverbial birthday suit, was the worn sheet draped over his lap. Hastily tugging the material higher, he squeeked, "Sheppard?"

Both women had pulled back the sponges, and one on his left and one on his right, now smiled. The one with brown hair spoke up, "He is recovering in his room."

Rodney coughed self-consciously, "Recovering?" He tried for assertive, but it came out more like Lambert the Sheepish Lion.

A coy grin from the blonde on his other side, as she inclined her head towards him and answered, "As are you."

Brown hair scolded, "That was very foolish of you. Be thankful Karna is willing to give second chances."

He tried to appear thankful, really, but that wasn't something he did often – be thankful to other people. Not to mention, be thankful for failing to escape, and being returned back to the person who wanted to whore him out to women – and staring slack jawed at the nubile, soft…

Swearing under his breath, he pulled his eyes off the women, and searched for his clothes. "Where's my -"

The pleased laugh interrupted him. "You will not be needing them."

If he'd been alarmed before, now he was shifting to panic. Gut wrenching, get me the hell out of here, panic. Brown hair reached for his arm, and tugged, causing him to fall back on the bed. Blonde hair set her sponge to the side, and crawled closer. Blocking his line of sight, she assured him, "You won't be needing anything."

And if McKay had been capable of speech, he would've howled for help, but Brown hair had already latched lips on his own, and the seeking hands from Blonde hair stole his ability to think rationally.

oOo

"I swear, that's never happened before!" shouted McKay, at the retreating backs of the women.

They kept walking out the door. Disgusted, he dropped back to the bed. It was the poison. Definitely. Being drugged, held in a cell, transported over rough roads, poisoned and sick – how could they expect him to perform like some stud for hire?

And why the hell was he disappointed anyway?

A thought intruded – Sheppard! McKay's eyes slid to the closed door that adjoined their rooms. Assuming these were the same they'd been escorted to the first time. He wrapped the sheet around like a towel, and padded carefully to the door. Even as he pulled it open, he realized that the major might have been in the middle of the same business he'd been in a few moments before, but already the door was swinging open.

Relieved, he found Sheppard sitting on the bed _alone_, sheet wrapped in similar fashion.

The noise drew the major's gaze, and he looked uncomfortably at McKay. "You okay?" he asked.

"I'm alive," replied McKay shortly. "I'd be okay if I had clothes."

Sheppard snorted. He pointed at the sheet wrap and said, "But it's so you."

"I'm going to be the adult here, and refrain from making crass comments."

"No, McKay, the crass comment would be in reference to the activities I overhead," stated Sheppard casually, arching an eyebrow at Rodney.

Dismay etched into McKay's face, and he stuttered, "You heard – uh – that? I thought – they said -" miserably, he stopped. Trying again, "Brilliant escape." Figuring he was screwed, almost literally, it was only fair to turn the tables and put the major on defensive.

"We can't all – perform – on demand," sniped Sheppard with a sardonic twist to his mouth.

McKay's nostrils flared. "Matured much, since oh, age _twelve_?"

"Your secret is safe with me," vowed Sheppard with mock solemnity.

Sheppard's door opened abruptly, and Karna walked in. McKay could tell she wasn't happy, but she also seemed – puzzled? She strode over to Sheppard first, and reached for his arm.

Surprised, Sheppard didn't move away. She was – checking his pulse?

"What're you doing to him?" asked McKay, straightening.

Karna gave him a disinterested look, but answered, "It seems the medicine that made you better had an unexpected side-effect." She lifted the back of her hand and laid it against Sheppard's forehead.

While she continued to examine the major, McKay was processing what she'd said. Unexpected side effect – but Sheppard hadn't had anyone in here – or had he? With dawning realization, he turned back to look at the major, "Stage fright, maybe?" he accused pointedly.

"Side effect," countered Sheppard, nonplussed by the turn of events.

Finished with Sheppard, Karna moved to McKay and did a similar check, which amounted to nothing. McKay had accused Beckett of being a witch doctor, but at least there was some amount of science behind Beckett's actions. This woman was relying on touch and observation. Some kind of toss back to a medicine man.

It didn't take long, obviously, because there was nothing to it. She stood back from them, and frowned. "I do not know how long this will take to wear off. I advise you to stay in bed, and rest." Giving a pointed look at McKay, she emphasized, "Another escape attempt will not be treated, the end result will be final."

She didn't give them a chance to argue, leaving the room after delivering her warning. McKay looked back at Sheppard, "Why'd she look at me when she said that?" he snapped. "It was you're idea!"

Sheppard made sure his sheet was solidly attached and stood up. "No, McKay. It was _you're_ idea. I only provided us the exit."

McKay was about to argue, even had a hand up, when he paused. Had it been his idea? "Still," he said. "You were there. It's not like I was the only one who left. She should've glared at you equally."

"You're just mad because you lost favored boy toy status."

The door opening again stopped continued arguing, but neither expected to see the newest intruder –

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

AN: And we're finished! Thanks for being patient with the slow updates (really sorry for that)!

**Part Four**

"Teyla!" exclaimed Sheppard. He jumped out of bed, forgetting the only thing covering him was a sheet. "How'd you find us?"

McKay was as relieved as Sheppard, but he hadn't forgotten the sheet, and he'd noticed the girl standing behind Teyla. "Major," he hissed.

Sheppard halted, eyeing the girl suspiciously. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Livy," answered Teyla, pulling her into the room. "She helped me escape, and lead me to a cure for the poison keeping you here." She fixed both men with a sage look, aware of their distrust. "I promised her sanctuary."

"Where's Ford?"

"I do not know. Livy only knew the whereabouts of you and Doctor McKay," replied Teyla. "I'm sorry, Major."

Sheppard fixed a hard stare on the girl, and felt a momentary pang of remorse when she flinched and looked away. She couldn't be more than sixteen. He'd have to deal with that complication later; after all, they'd already given the Athosian's sanctuary, and with them living on the mainland, the girl would have a good place to go. Better than this screwed up place.

"Were you seen?" he asked, stepping around them both, and looking around the door, relieved to see the hall was clear.

Teyla shook her head. "No, we waited outside until this Mistress Karna left."

"Marsa had additional medicine for," Livy cast a furtive look their way, "your friends. She should be gone long enough."

"Additional medicine?" asked a startled McKay.

"For both of us?" Sheppard shared an alarmed look with Rodney. They'd had enough _medicine_. Like the saying goes, with side effects like these, who needed the cure?

"Both," replied Teyla, and the edges of her mouth quirked.

"We should go," said Livy, shooting a nervous glance at the door. "We must get a head start, for once she sees they are missing, she will send out a search party. Though she threatens to not rescue escapees, she would do so."

"Where are your clothes?" Teyla scanned the room searching.

"Gone," McKay snapped. "Or did you think we're wearing this for the fashion statement?"

Teyla's forehead crinkled. She didn't understand the fashion statement reference, but she did understand McKay's scathing tone. Coldly, she said, "Very well, you will have to make do."

"We can't hike back to the gate like this!"

Teyla turned her back to McKay and started out the door. "I thought you wanted to make a – fashion statement."

Sheppard raised an amused eyebrow at McKay, and followed the women. He heard Rodney grumbling, but knew the scientist was walking behind him. It was going to be a long uncomfortable hike.

oOo

And it was. By the time they approached the outskirts of the town, and nothing but trees and grass stood between them, and Atlantis, Sheppard could care less about his dignity, and even less about civility.

He was overheated, sweaty, chafing in places that chafing wasn't a good thing, and if McKay whined one more time about his headache, Sheppard was going to give him a lump to blame the headache on.

"Now what?" snapped McKay, panting heavily.

Sheppard took pleasure in the fact that both of them were run ragged, and it wasn't just him. He'd be embarrassed if McKay was in better shape than he was, regardless of what they'd been through.

"Weir will have sent a rescue team. We hide till they show," advised Sheppard, stumbling over the hem of his sheet.

Sheppard should've known nothing is ever that simple. They did manage to make it to the gate, and they even managed to remain hidden, but when the wormhole engaged, and the rescue team stepped out of the event horizon, a loud clamor arose behind where Sheppard and the others were hiding.

McKay yelped, and turned as fast as humanly possible, but it wasn't in time to escape the dart. Sheppard watched McKay slide down like the man was a boneless fish, and his eyes caught Teyla's.

They'd been followed. He turned to the girl, knowing he shouldn't have trusted so easily, but she was gone. Sheppard did a mental head slap. Of course she was. Why hang around; she'd done her job. _Damn it!_

"I am sorry, Major." Teyla was trying to pull McKay under cover, and Sheppard heard the peppering of gunfire as the rescue team fought off the would-be captors. They'd obviously thought the ambush through. A chance to catch even more bodies had been too much to pass up.

"Not your fault," said Sheppard stonily. He felt a hiss blow past his head, and figured he'd just managed to avoid another dart. "We've got to get out of here. If we can reach the rescue team, they'll dial out." He did _not_ want to stay here a minute longer than he had to, and going back to Karna's wasn't how he thought this night was going to end.

Looking behind, he could see at least three figures silhouetted in the growing light. There wasn't any way short of making a mad run for it. No trees or rocks, nothing for cover, between them and the gate.

"Grab his other arm," whispered Sheppard. "On three, we run - one, two, three!"

Hauling McKay roughly across the ground, Sheppard apologized mentally for the bruises Rodney would have, and cringed when they tripped and fell, practically on top of the scientist. Good thing McKay was oblivious to the trip, thought Sheppard wearily.

"Major Sheppard!" Sergeant Bates was firing over their head.

"Dial the gate!" shouted the major, giving another hard yank as McKay's legs caught against a dip in the ground. "Go, go!"

Another member of the rescue team quickly jogged to the DHD, and entered the address. The gate, while never known for speed, seemed to take forever to engage, and splash out their escape.

Bates stepped back towards the gate, and holding fire, gestured for the other members to move. They had finally reached the rescuers, and gratefully, Sheppard released McKay into their waiting hands. Teyla and two of the remaining three expedition members pulled McKay into the wormhole, making it safely through, and leaving only him and Bates.

"Go, Major!"

Sheppard didn't need to be told twice. As the cold chill of the wormhole enveloped him, he felt a small sting on his shoulder, and knew he'd been hit. That was the last thing his mind registered, as the momentum carried him forward, and already unconscious, he slumped to the gateroom floor, unaware of the shocked stares on the command deck.

OoO

Sheppard groaned. He felt like hell. The last thing he remembered was going through the gate. Opening his eyes, he wasn't surprised to see the familiar surroundings of the infirmary.

Normally, he wasn't too hot to stay here. It was noisy, and being pestered every hour or so by various medical personnel grew irritating, especially when there was nothing wrong with you, but today – he wasn't going to want to leave for a while.

Wasn't there some miracle medicine that Beckett should've given him to make him feel better? Sheppard wondered if he begged? His stomach felt like it'd been used as a trampoline for giants.

"You're awake," spoke the very man he'd been thinking about.

Sheppard rolled his head to the side, and saw Beckett standing in his white coat, stethoscope dangled around his neck. "I don't feel so good," he admitted. "Did they find Ford?"

Carson didn't appear overly alarmed by his confession, but he did look sympathetic. "Aye, I don't suppose you do," he lifted a vial, holding it for Sheppard to see. "This was the antidote to that nasty bit of poison you, Rodney and the Lieutenant were subjected to, and Ford was found before you three. He was pretty bad off, though, until Teyla gave me the medicine she pinched off that person."

"The cure is worse than the poison." A shaky voice spoke up out of Sheppard's eyesight.

Rodney sounded as bad as he felt. Sheppard craned his head, focusing on a grimacing McKay a couple of beds over. "Hi, McKay," he waved. "Nice planet." Sheppard made an okay with his fingers. "Great idea," and dropped back against the pillow, muttering again, "_great_ idea."

"It's not my fault!"

Sheppard was too miserable to argue, so he settled for throwing his pillow. He missed, and now he didn't have anything to lay on.

"Childish behavior," crowed McKay, "gets you nowhere."

"Does he feel as bad as I do?" Sheppard asked Beckett, ignoring McKay. "Because I really hope he feels this bad."

Carson patted Sheppard's shoulder, "Of course he does." Beckett grabbed a pillow from the other bed, and helped Sheppard get resettled. He really felt like crap.

"Isn't that against your oath?" snapped McKay. "I'm sick, you've got to be nice to me."

Beckett smiled. "I'm always nice, Rodney. Get some sleep," he turned away towards his office and flipped the lights off. "You'll feel better tomorrow."

Sheppard almost wished Beckett had stayed. Talking seemed to take his mind off how miserable he was. Looking around the room some more, he noticed Ford was indeed snoring softly in a bed near McKay's. Despite the double cross from that girl, she'd given Teyla the medicine that saved them all, and for that he supposed things worked out for the best.

Eventually, Sheppard fell back asleep. He did feel better the next day, and judging by the increase in volume and content from McKay, Rodney was also recovering. Ford was taking longer, but Beckett had explained it as a result of being untreated for over a day. It had taken a toll on the young man's body, but he would bounce back.

The reason he and McKay had felt so bad, was a result of being dosed twice with the poison, and the cumulative effects of the cure. All things being equal, though, they'd probably get released this afternoon.

The door swished open, and his two favorite women walked in the room. Normally, he would've been more than happy to see them, but a little birdie had whispered in his ears about the gossip running amuck through the city about their escapade on Sex Slave Planet, and Sheppard was pretty sure patient zero for the source of the information was coming from Bates, and when he got out of here –

"You look better," smiled Elizabeth warmly.

"I feel better," he answered honestly.

"In fact," added McKay, "We were thinking we could be released now."

Sheppard cringed. Timing, McKay, it was all about timing – he hadn't allowed for time to let Weir see them acting and talking normal. But McKay was nine-tenths impulse, one-tenth control, and the nurses' whispering and giggling was even sending the normal hypochondriac McKay into uneasy looks Sheppard's way, and they'd decided maybe retreating to lick their wounds in private might be in their best interests. Sheppard was pretty sure one of the nurses had a camera, and he'd caught a glimpse of those sheets they'd worn during the Great Escape, as it was being called. They'd taken to dozing with one eye open.

Weir had a knowing twinkle in her eye. "I think we'll let Carson be the judge of that."

"Be the judge of what?" asked Beckett, coming out of his office upon hearing the conversing voices.

"How soon our illustrious adventurer's can be released," explained Weir.

Was that a gleam in Beckett's eye as well? Sheppard groaned. Exactly how much information had gotten out?

"Oh, I think this afternoon," he said. "On light duty. Elizabeth -" Carson waved her his way, "I have to talk to you about something."

Sheppard eyed them distrustfully, and couldn't help but shoot a dirty look at everyone. If that _something_ was them, he was going to snap, and wouldn't be responsible for what happened next.

After they stepped out of the room, Teyla came closer to his bed. "I am sorry, Major. I should not have trusted the child."

Sheppard lifted his hand slightly from the bed and waved slightly. "You did what you had to. She tricked all of us. But, she did lead you to the medicine, and judging from how bad off Ford still is, he needed it a lot more than me and McKay."

"You would not have needed more, if we had not been ambushed at the gate," she argued, not ready to let herself off the hook for being duped so easily.

"And we never would have been ambushed if you hadn't trusted her," agreed Sheppard. He saw the surprise from Teyla at his seeming agreement of her wrongdoing, but he pressed on and finished, "We wouldn't have been ambushed, because we would've been prisoner's still, _because_ if you hadn't trusted her, you never would've been allowed to escape, either."

"For once, I agree with Sheppard," voiced McKay. "We've got you to thank for getting us out of there."

Uncharacteristic as it was for McKay to say thanks to anyone, Teyla was touched. A thankful smile spread across her face, and she closed in on McKay's bed, leaning in to give him an Athosian gesture of affection, and friendship, the same gesture she'd done with Sheppard not long after they'd been rescued from the Hive ship.

Despite the embarrassed flush, Sheppard could see McKay was pleased. Teyla inclined her head his way, and left. McKay stretched out in bed, twining his fingers together behind his head, and looking very self-satisfied.

"I dragged your sorry ass to the gate," pointed out Sheppard.

"But _I_ got the Athosian hug," retorted McKay.

Disgruntled, Sheppard rolled away, and covered his head with a pillow. Why'd McKay get the hug, and all he got was an apology? Sometimes being in charge sucked. He liked hugs, even those weird ones that Teyla's people did.

Beckett was true to his word, and what he and Elizabeth had schmoozed about in private, Sheppard didn't know, but they got the release later that afternoon. Sheppard had dozed, and when he woke, McKay was already gone, and Ford was sitting up reading a magazine.

After getting dressed, Sheppard headed to the lieutenant's bed. "Nice to see you awake."

"Thanks, Sir. Glad you and Doctor McKay made it out of there. Teyla said you had a rough time."

Teyla said? Sheppard groaned. He almost asked what Teyla said, but maybe sometimes ignorance is bliss. Before he could think of something else to say, Beckett was waving him over holding his discharge papers.

Sheppard signed, and Beckett thrust a white paper bag in his hand as he turned to leave. "What's this?"

Carson was grinning. "Just a little something for those wee nasty side-effects Rodney told me you were suffering from before."

Sheppard narrowed his eyes, but before he could say he didn't need anything, Beckett had already hustled away. Opening the bag, Sheppard shook out a small bottle of pills, and rotated to read the label - _Sildenafil Citrate_, and in parentheses, the brand name Viagra.

Son of a bitch – 

THE END


End file.
